WOMBAT Draco Malfoy
by daklan
Summary: Dear Mr Malfoy: As all magical people of the age of 17, you must take the WOMBAT test.


Draco Malfoy

**W.O.M.B.A.T**

Note: We are currently revising the test. It would be appreciated to write down commentary to show your opinion of the question.

Part One - Magical Law

Which Ministry of Magic department(s) and/or committee(s) would you contact to resolve each of the following dilemmas? (Questions 1-5)

1. Your neighbour is concealing a stash of flying carpets, some of which he is allowing to fly loose around his back garden.

a. Wizengamot

(b). Department of International Magical Cooperation

c. Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Office

d. All of the Above

e. None of the Above

_Like I would near an idiot like him._

2. Your friend C possesses a Muggle Penny Farthing (old bicycle) that has been enchanted to skim an inch above the ground, achieving speeds of over 100mph. C did not personally enchant the Penny Farthing, never rides it and merely wishes to keep it 'for sentimental reasons' as it was her grandmother's.

a. Department of Magical Transport

(b). Improper Use of Magic Office

c. Obliviators

d. Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Office

e. Committee on Experimental Charms

f. None of the above

_Why would anyone use that, instead of a broom. Still, what the bloody hell is mph?_

3. Your sixteen year old nephew, D, has hexed his seventeen-year-old sister, E. E has retaliated with a Stunning Spell that missed D and hit a Muggle motorist, who smashed into a lamppost.

a. Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes

(b). Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes and Obliviator Squad

c. Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes, Obliviator Squad and Improper Use of Magic Office

d. Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes, Obliviator Squad, Improper Use of Magic Office and Wizengamot

_Serves that dumb muggle right!_

4. Your Friends wizard A and wizard B are in dispute over which of them owns a field in which Mooncalfs dance periodically. A accuses B of using nightly a Summoning Charm to collect the precious Mooncalf dung which is rightfully A's.

a. Improper Use of Magic Office

b. Wizengamot

(c). Pest Advisory Board

d. Improper Use of Magic Office and Wizengamot

e. Improper Use of Magic Office and Pest Advisory Board

f. Wizengamot and Pest Advisory Board

_What idiot would want to deal with that stuff._

5. Witch F fed love potion to a Muggle man, who has married her. When you went around with a wedding gift you discovered that she is using him as an occasional table.

a. Auror Office

(b). Misuse of Magic Office

c. Obliviators

d. Wizengamot

e. All of the above

f. None of the above

_Why would anyone marry a muggle? Oddly, I feel like I should recognize this._

6. Which of the following should be most SEVERELY punished by the Wizengamot?

a. The injury of three Muggles due to a poorly performed Forgetfulness Charm

b. The death of a chicken due to a poorly aimed Bat-Bogey Hex

(c). The use of the Cruciatus curse on a shark about to attack a Muggle.

d. The use of the Imperius Curse on a Muggle mugger

_It would be b if the laws made sense._

7. Which of the following should receive the LIGHTEST punishment from the Wizengamot?

(a). Horns created accidentally on a culprit's mother, caused by broken wand

b. Jelly-Legs Jinx performed on threatening Muggle

c. Breeding fanged Puffskeins

d. Underage witch performs Cleaning Charms in privacy of own home

_I wish it would b. Which is something all muggles would do._

8. Which of the following does NOT require a Ministry of Magic license?

a. Crup ownership

b. Sale of magical artifacts

(c). House-elf ownership

d. Apparition

_It better stay like that._

9. Which of the following wizarding laws, in your view, stands in most urgent need of change?

(a). The detection of underage magic in all-magic households (currently impossible)

b. The ban on goblin possession of wands (ought to be lifted)

c. The re-classification of centaurs and merpeople (ought to take their views into account)

d. The guidelines on house-elf welfare (need to be enforced)

e. Definitions of 'Muggle-baiting' (needs to be made less stringent)

_Do I need to answer this one. All the answers are idiotic._

Part Two - Magical Transport

10. Which mode of transportation would you advise for a young mother travelling with one-year-old twins with a low boredom threshold, her grandmother, who suffers from severe motion sickness, and her husband, who has never mastered the three 'D's?

a. Apparition

b. Broomsticks

c. Floo Powder

d. Knight Bus

(e). Portkey

_That damn bus is the worst method of anything. And who would do anything like floo powder. Apparation is the only good method of transportation._

11. Which of the following unorthodox means of transportation is considered the most serious breach of the International Statute of Secrecy?

a. Thestrals

b. Abraxan horse-drawn giant carriage

c. Hippogriff

(d). Flying Muggle vehicle (eg. car, motorcycle)

e. Underwater ship

_Talking about cars. Why the hell wasn't Weasly and Potter expelled._

Which mode(s) of transportation could you use to reach/enter each of the following wizarding institutions?(Questions 12 - 16)

12. Azkaban

(a). Brooms

b. Brooms/Floo Powder

c. Brooms/Knight Bus

d. Brooms/Floo powder/Knight Bus

e. Brooms/Floo powder/Knight Bus/Apparition

_Why would anyone go on the damn bus._

13. Gringotts

a. Brooms

b. Brooms/Floo Powder

c. Brooms/Knight Bus

(d). Brooms/Floo powder/Knight Bus

e. Brooms/Floo powder/Knight Bus/Apparition

_Why the hell would anyone take the damn bus._

14. Hogwarts

a. Brooms

b. Brooms/Floo Powder

c. Brooms/Knight Bus

(d). Brooms/Floo powder/Knight Bus

e. Brooms/Floo powder/Knight Bus/Apparition

_That god I'm free of this damn school._

15. Ministry of Magic

a. Brooms

b. Brooms/Floo Powder

c. Brooms/Knight Bus

d. Brooms/Floo powder/Knight Bus

(e). Brooms/Floo powder/Knight Bus/Apparition

_How the hell do you get into the ministry on a damn broom._

16. St. Mungo's

a. Brooms

b. Brooms/Floo Powder

c. Brooms/Knight Bus

(d). Brooms/Floo Powder/Knight Bus

e. Brooms/Floo Powder/Knight Bus/Apparition

_How do you enter on a broom?_

Part Three - Everyday Magic

17. Which of the following would, in your opinion, provide the best security for a convention of broomstick salesmen in a large, Firebolt-shaped marquee?

a. Fidelius Charm

b. Muggle-Repelling Charm

c. Confundus Charm

(d). Disillusionment Charm

e. Unplottable marquee

f. Forgetfulness Charm

g. Giant three-headed dog

_That sounds like the dumbest thing. Why the hell would those people use a tent shaped like that._

18. Which of the following should not be used in cooking?

a. Alihotsy leaves

(b). Bubotuber pus

c. Daisy roots

d. Dragon blood

e. Mandrake leaves

f. Murtlap tentacles

g. Shrake

_My House-elves better know that._

19. Which of the following would most effectively clean up a spillage of wart cap powder?

a. Deletrius

b. Diffindo

c. Episkey

(d). Evanesco

e. Scourgify

f. Tergeo

_Or get an elf to do it._

g. Mrs. Scower's All-Purpose Magical Mess Remover

20. A Doxy bite can be healed most quickly and safely using

a. Bubotuber pus

b. Bundimun secretion

c. Dittany

(d). Dr. Ubbly's Oblivious Unction

e. Murtlap essence

f. Reparo

g. Skele-Gro

h. Spello-tape

_I don't know. Besides I'd just get a **HOUSE ELF** to do it._

21. Which of the following commonly held wizarding beliefs is actually true?

a. If an inanimate object appears to think for itself, Dark Magic has been involved in its creation

b. The use of magic in front of a Muggle is prohibited. unless the witch or wizard is under threat of personal injury

(c). Releasing a Portkey before it has arrived will result in death or serious injury.

d. 'Finite Incantatem' should be used as a precaution when a Muggle rings the doorbell.

e. Bad luck can be prevented by turning three times on the spot and deliberately Splinching one's thumbs.

_Only mudbloods would actually do e._

Part Four - The Natural World

22. Which of the following small creatures would you CHOOSE to accompany you on a perilous journey?

a. Augurey

b. Crup

c. Jarvey

d. Kneazle

e. Murtlap

f. Niffler

(g). Runespoor

_The only useful one_.

23. Which of the Following is NOT listed as a pest by the Pest Advisory Board?

a. Bundimun

(b). Chizpurfle

c. Doxy

d. Gnome

e. Horklum

pf. Knarl

g. Pixie

_One of Lovegood's 'creatures'._

24. A dog acting in a suspiciously un-canine manner is most likely to be

(a). An Animagus

b. A Boggart

c. A Crup (or part Crup)

d. A Grim

e. Imperiused

f. Magically Trained

g. A Patronus

_The blood traitor Black._

25. Which of the following plants has NO curative, restorative or protective properties?

a. Alihotsy shrub

b. Belladonna

c. Bubotuber

d. Snargaluff tree

e. Venomous Tentacula

f. Wolfsbane

(g). Whomping Willow

_Only a mudblood would ever think that it dos._

* * *

><p>Author's Note: How do you like it. I want to note. Draco isn't an idiot. He isn't a genius either. So his anwers are varied.<p>

Does anyone know a good key for an answer. A lot tend to instantly be deleted when I upload this.

This is only a third of the test. I still have to do some parts.

Do you guys want more notes?

Reviews are awesome. Please review. Reviews help me choose which story to work on.


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